Societal Neglect More to Blame?

I really don't want to get "political" in this blog, but "political" was the day's word in my house Tuesday.

Motivated by some continuing ed my SIL Jen, a 5th-grade teacher, recently took, my boys and I are much more attuned to our vocabulary.

So Tuesday's word, chosen by Luke, was 'politics.' (Sunday's was Chimera, Monday's was emporium ... this is going to be fun!).

But I digress. And I might even have made the wrong word choice. Maybe this issue isn't 'political,' but I can't seem to find the right word.

Loaded. Maybe that's it.

One of the "news" stories I recently caught up on since returning from vacation disturbs me. Now, that's not true. Nearly 100 percent of the media stories I've read since returning from vacation disturb me, but I'm only commenting on one right now. I'll try not to comment on any others, actually.

I read this particular one in Sunday's Chicago Tribune.

I grant you, it is not a great bastion of journalism, but it reflects society's temporal idea of "news."

The Trib reported of toddler twin girls' deaths. They died in their over-heated bedroom ... no ventilation, no air conditioning, filthy and underweight (Thirteen pounds at 13 months). The 22-year-old mother, who has three other children including one recently born prematurely and still hospitalized, was charged with neglect.

I'm not disagreeing with the charge or that the mother's actions weren't criminal.

The twins were said to have died from, among other causes, "failure to thrive due to maternal neglect."

The 19-year-old father had no comment.

I am so sad to hear of the twins' deaths. Any child's death, at any age and for any reason, is going to make me cry.

I take issue with the "maternal neglect" phrase. Legally, and morally, I get it. A mother's first objective is to keep her children safe. It's not always easy; it's usually not fun. But it is our job.

But didn't the twins actually die from society's neglect?

The personal responsibility argument aside (I get that, too; I do), I feel this is a woman tragically lost somewhere between being a girl and being a woman. Between being a daughter and becoming a mother.

This mother and her story are from just a few blocks from where I grew up. Maybe that's why this particular tragedy, not unique in our culture, is hitting me harder than the others.

According to the article, one of her children was "staying with relatives" and another was in the custody of the state. That left the twins, apparently in her care, and the newborn, born too early, still in the hospital.

My question is: Who thought this woman was capable of caring for 13-month-old twins if one child was already taken in by relatives, another by the state, one born so early she was still hospitalized, and the mom, herself, still recovering from childbirth? Anyone?

We are so quick to label. Bad mother. Broken home. Pro-choice. Pro-life. Conservative. Liberal. Anti-this. Anti-that.

But what if just one person made a difference in this young woman's life, or this young father's life for that matter? What if that very day the girls died, someone had helped that mother rather than judged her?

What ifs. Ugh. They don't do much good.

While we are all in a place and a position to make a difference in just one person's life today, I'm going to plug one of my fave charities right now. It's Maryville's Crisis Nursery in Chicago. Check it out for yourself if you are around here. www.maryvilleacademy.org/subpages.asp?id=33&parentid=2

As for me, I'm going to try a little harder tomorrow. And pray a little harder tonight.